Self-esteem is a psychological concept that refers to the overall positive or negative judgment that a person has of themselves.

Your self-esteem will depend on many parameters. The environment, education, personality, physical and intellectual abilities, etc ... are all variables that will influence the judgment we make of ourselves. Self-esteem is built during childhood and will evolve over the course of life with experiences of success and failure.

Low self-esteem can lead to discomfort and difficulties in relationships with other people. It will also be a risk factor for the development of psychological disorders. People who have low self-esteem never feel good enough, never measure up, and suffer terribly.

On the contrary, a very high self-esteem can lead the person to have behaviors and attitudes often badly perceived by others who will often see in him a haughty person and a little too sure of himself. A very high self-esteem can lead the person to behave at risk, thinking they are immune from everything.

Finally, a "good" self-esteem corresponds to a satisfactory self-esteem, neither too low nor too high, which promotes relationship development and personal well-being.

For some time now, researchers and the media have taken a keen interest in self-esteem, and numerous health initiatives are being organized to develop "good self-esteem". This approach would allow children and people to flourish in many areas and would prevent them from developing disorders such as depression and certain anxiety disorders.

Start talking to our volunteers who are willing to share their experiences with self-esteem issues.

Here are some of the tips recomended by specilists:

1/ Confront reality

We can only change in ourselves what we have previously identified ... as something to be changed. Affirmation has all the truism, but is the necessary preamble to action. A real effort of introspection is required for anyone who wants to put an end to self-deprecation. It is so easy to take for lucidity the little inner voice that permanently demeans us, undermines our successes and encourages negative comparisons for oneself. That voice that regularly and whispers about everything that you won't or deserve is nothing more than an expression of low self-esteem. It is anything but objective and realistic. And if you don't take it for what it is, you won't be able to turn the tide.

2/ Changing history

Systematically minimizing your talents and successes, making self-deprecation your favorite narrative mode, shying away from all forms of attention, showing excessive humility and shyness ... Nothing is more effective for cultivating low self-esteem. Words are important, they have a profound influence on how you perceive yourself and how you feel about others. “Perception is reality,” says an American adage used in business. Practice telling what is happening to you by banishing anything that gives you the image of a victim, loser or chronically unlucky. Accept compliments without justifying yourself or minimizing your responsibility. Assume the motherhood (or fatherhood) of your ideas. Congratulate yourself on your big and small successes. Track down your toxic thoughts, the ones that inferior you, and say "wrong!" "Whenever they force themselves on you; then replace them with positive thoughts about you which will become your mantras.

3/ Contact the star in oneself

Albert Einstein believed that everyone is a genius in a field of their own. Sing, organize, cook, run, write, tinker, comfort, etc. When we exercise this talent, we let the star who lives in us express itself: the one who radiates confidence, charisma and competence. The more we become aware of our specific talent and the more we exercise it - usually without much difficulty, because it gives us meaning and pleasure - the more our zone of inner confidence grows. Identify your unique talent, and give it space and regularity in your agenda.

4/ Exercise

There are many studies that prove the direct link between confidence-self-esteem and physical exercise. Running, walking (fast), swimming, horseback riding, skiing, dancing, boxing… All these activities put us back in our body and develop in us a double positive feeling of power and control. Two ingredients that promote the strengthening of self-esteem and, therefore, the ability to respect one's territory and to assert oneself. Not to mention that physical exercise regulates emotions and improves the quality of sleep, two benefits that greatly help you feel better about yourself and therefore more confident.

5/ Help others

Feeling useful is part of good self-esteem. This can be done by taking care of loved ones in difficult circumstances for a while, by volunteering, by passing on knowledge and experience ... It is gratifying to see, through these manifestations of active empathy, altruism , that our energy, our words, our vision of things, our simple presence sometimes comfort, relieve, inspire. These benefits are available on condition that one does not devalue one's action, that one does not position oneself as a "devoted servant". Offer your help, your time, your advice as equals, with dignity and simply.

6/ Forgive oneself

The literature on forgiveness emphasizes the need to grant it to others, more rarely to oneself. Yet it is by forgiving yourself that you can grow in your own eyes, that you can feel legitimate in the eyes of others. Think about a negative event in your life that you still blame yourself for. Recall the event, think back to the context, your state of mind and your material situation then. Try to sort out what you can attribute to the circumstances or to others and what is your responsibility. Learn from it, then forgive yourself, from the bottom of your heart, as you would with someone sincere and dear to you. You did what you could then, no need to carry on carrying the weight of the past.

7/ Cherish the heart of one's being

There are the facts, the results (failures and successes), the circumstances, the events of life and what one is deep inside. There is the surface and the bottom. There is also the ego (temporal, reduced, circumstantial) and the self, much greater, according to Jung, than the sum of all our particularities. The self is the dense, concentrated part of our being, the heart of our humanity. This is where it is precious, to be cherished and respected. To despise him, to mistreat him, to devalue him, is to mistreat humanity in itself. Learn to listen to your needs, welcome your wants, respect them, and they will be respected by others. This will put you in a virtuous circle, because acquiring a new self-awareness also requires the acquisition of new behaviors.